Everydays a new Day..

I Really Don't Know

2009-01-11T01:33:00.001-08:00

Lol i bought a diary. Its hardcover, silvery on the front and has the chinese word of happiness smacked right in the centre of the cover. Its quite cool. Just bought it off the shelves of Popular.
So now I will probably not post anymore, unless Im so desperate for attention until anything else wont suffice. Lol.

First week of school of course has been slack. Got to know the new teachers, curriculum blah blah blah. Everyone else was quite busy, mostly with the sec 1 stuff, orientation camp, JRIC and I was, as usual, stoning. We retained some teachers, for better or worse. CEC selection was of course as usual, marred by sabotage. Congratulations to our new CEC, especially Chiap. Now your CVs going to jump eh. Lol. I didnt get any appointments, either because Im not good enough or I didnt have any saboteurs. I would think, and hope, its the latter. LOl.. Then there was this thing which Tan Weng Seng said which really caught my attention. "From this experience, I realise I am able to partition my feelings from when making decisions... because I think emotions can cloud your judegment." Of course its not word for word, but the idea is there. Really cool. I think I might start to like him.

So 11 days into the new year. So far so good. Chinese New Years round the corner, though Im not uber excited about it. Relative relations are still ok, not extremely good. Angbao money hovers around 150-200, but I dont really care. Whether I get $100 or $1000, I just dump everything in the bank. Seriously. We are not super rich so I dont get above $200, but doesnt matter.

And I got a new godmother. Loll I wasnt expecting to get one, just a stand-in one. Having said that, I am more than happy to have a godmother godmother. Its just that I wasnt expecting it. So its, taaaa-daaaa, Jamie Lewis! Lol my godmother is 7 years older than me. Its so weird. But her wisdom owns mine, and I can definitely learn a lot from her. Im looking forward to it.

Somehow, I have this feeling that Ive been projecting this very laid-back, nonchalant, heck care look. Cause after the oral diagnostic, Serene Seow said a whole lot of stuff, like "cant be bothered with anything... bored with life", then today while I was walking in, my music teacher ask me "Why you always look so weak and tired?" No, actually its not a feeling, Im almost sure of it. Lol I better change. Change change change.

So for most probably the last time, bye. 9 posts and its a goner. Pshh.

High.. then low..

2009-01-02T06:58:00.000-08:00

Today was the Project J Christams Party, on the ninth day of christmas. I actually am not sure why its 12 days of christmas. Iill find out later.Anyway, we had almost everything as usual, fellowship, prayer worship (its cool music), session proper, then closing prayer. Todays session was nice cause everyone shared their own individual christmas experiences. Somehow, I enjoy lsitening to them, just how they bought presents for their old grandparents, had dinner at their aunts house, went back to the philippines singing door to door carols. Its just, I dont know, appealing to the heart. Then dont know why either, I got quite high during the closing prayer, though it didnt really show much. One of the songs was the twelve days of christmas thing. Lol it was really fun. Met some people I havent seen in a while too. Helped pack up everything then went home. Oh and there was teh delifrance those kind of bread, the hard hard one with some sugar bits sprinkled all over. Havent eaten those in a long time.

And heres something really funny about Si Ling who shared her experience.

Host: So how was the midnight mass different from the normal masses that you have attended?
Si Ling: Oh, got more people lor. Got a lot of altar boys also.
Jamie: Then you must be very happy la. *grins*
Si Ling: No la, dont have the one I want to see. [blushes]

Lol her answers are really cute.

I came home wanting to post how high I was from the party. Then I went random (or maybe not so random) blog surfing and then saw some stuff which dampened everything. Like psssss, then all the excitements gone. Lol Im making this very ambiguous so that the people Im ranting at are not obvious. Or actually Im ranting at no one in particular, just angsting. Like how come although we were all together before, now only a selected few stay together, and leave everyone else out, even when say some of them want to join in. Then they only invite that selected few, forgeting about all the rest, that selected few get to know more people, and the cycle goes on, somewhat like a poverty trap. Or the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. Something like that.

Lol it sounds so stupid being so ambiguous. Maybe Iill start keeping a diary and stall this 5 or 6 posts blog. Some things are really more private and the blogs really too public. Actually blogs are ironic in the sense that its supposed to be personal and private yet its public. Yeah I think I might start a diary. Its the new year, so just try something new.

I tried meditating prayerfully to stop random angsting. Wish I could just forget that I had ever known these people. ARH. Dammit Im angsting on the new year. I will try meditating again.

New Year. Of course.

2008-12-31T09:59:00.000-08:00

After a big break, its time for the classic new year post. But first, today, or rather yesterday.

Met Nigel and Chiap for lunch at J8, ended up eating at Long Johns owing to my stubborness to not eat Macs. Walked around a little bit and then went to Leonards house for his new year's day party a.k.a ai tong 6a class gathering. Now obviously Im not from ai tong, but chiap was intent on crashing the party, and I wanted to go but was paiseh. But in the end his will prevailed and we crashed the party. Technically we crashed the party, although the host knew we were coming and gladly welcomed us. And ai tong 6a was generally warm and hospitable to us, so I guess it turned out fine. Chiap was really enthusiastic lol. And so, 2009s the first year where I didnt sleep before the countdown but rather spent it cheering outside. And another first: taking a midnight cab on a public holiday. Sin Ming to Yishun - $17.90. Lol definitely burned a hole in my pocket but its just a first.

Short recap on 2008 since Im like 2 and 1/4 hours past it alreadi. 2008 has been THE most challenging year yet. As in seriously, not like I say its the toughest year every year before the next, but I think even PSLE year was so much easier. In all aspects, academically, socially, spiritually, co-curricularly. Failure to make the t.t team kind of triggered a lot of other stuff, a chain reaction thingy. Might not mean much to some people, especially those who hate their CCA, but I am, or was, very passionate about it, so it dealt a blow. Then somehow, I reached the point in my life when I started wondering about what I was doing with my life. I realised I didnt know many people, didnt bother getting to know new people, didnt bother in maintaing the slightest of friendships, past and present. Then I became emo, or pseudo-emo, whatever. And well, I think I picked myself up halfway through the year. Currently, I think Im much better but still growing from experience.

So maybe not as short as I thought it would be. New Year Resolutions, I havent done any before. So let these be a first.

1. Stick to my new motto. That everydays a new day. Cliche but very true.
2. Be more outgoing, open and friendly.
3. Keep healthy. I must start sleeping earlier again.
4. Dont be self depreciating. Confidence.
5. Get into the t.t team. Im still at it lol. But it might turn out to be an automatic entry. In any case, it will be significantly easier and my chances are much higher. All the way!

Bye 08, hello 09. Lets make 2009 a good year!

So Classic. Lol..

6 Gracious Rendezvous

2008-12-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

I know, what a lame title. Well gathering sounds so common, and reunion sounds so whoa, so I went for something which Im only half sure of its appropriate meaning. Rendezvous. Whoa ho.

Just like the old times, the same same people, 6 gracious boys, went for a movie. We watched bolt, which was average i think. Just the typical lost dog show, plus a whole lot of wacky humour. Original plan was watch it 1030, but due to some hiccups, like people waking up late and the lack of a proper itinery due to a 'stupid organiser', we ended up watching it at 130. Talked shyt for 1 hour, stoned for another hour, then lan for another hour. The lack of a proper itinery is not a negative comment. Its fun to just stone around and be in the company of some old friends. Really. After movie lan again. Lol so boring.

Just watched the season finale of survivor gabon, taped. Everything came to a really climatic and suitable closure with Bob taking home the prize money, plus an additional bonus for being the most well liked. He deserved it the most. Most of the others are generally ok but each show some attitude sometimes. Only Bob didnt attitude anyone throughout the whole game. Yay Bob. And fuck corrine la. Her comment was outrightly disrespectful and unsensitive. Like "you are unemployed, uneducated, a leech on society... quit crying over your dead father". Its disgusting to insult her deceased family, let alone it happened not too long ago. Im not moral police, but its really disturbing to see and hear such hurtful words.

Well trainings finally come to a close for the year. Starts again on the 30th, plenty of time to rest and slack. I have been rather productive this holiday, but I havent done what I wanted to do. Like you aim for 50, you get 25. You aim for 100, you get 50. So this holiday I came up with quite a massive plan, and I have only done a fraction of it. Still, compared to past holidays, this ones working out better. I actually havent trained for pull-ups. Oh my, 5 months to napfa.

Im going to Batam for a mere two days, thursday and friday, so dont call, sms whatever. Not like I get anything all so often. Then Saturdays the lovely CIP christmas cupcake making and hospice visit. Lets bring joy to old folks! Im kinda excited about it. Just a little bit. And then sec4 farewell dinner gathering, at Mrs Foos house. Of all places, why a teacher's house?? Lol I didnt organise it obviously. Hopes its fun.

Sleep time. And I let out a tiny fraction of my angst today. LOL.

First Full-day Training

2008-12-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

Today was our first full day training, 9 to 5. For some reason the people higher up felt there was a need to extend the training hours to stretch over the whole day. Its quite tiring but its worth it. Most of the time.

RI is like some training centre where people randomly come in to play. Its like even if you want to arrange a friendly theres like some prior notice or something. But its different here. Last time the Gan Eng Seng people came, then today the Yu Neng people came. They are like kriffing primary 2 or 3 girls. And whats more the sickening coach lets them use the schools facilities instead of us when it was actually meant for us eg. ball spitting machine. Lol seriously man.

Played arcade during the lunch break. Although it is definitely a waste of money, I havent spent much this holiday, so its ok. And I must say, bishans virtualand is pathetic. Case in point: I wanted to play Time Crisis 4. 4 tokens. First token, smoothly accepted. Second token, slight difficulties because token gets rejected. Third token, it gets worst. Fourth token, it finally gets accepted after my friend has one life left. Lol and the cashier auntie has a really nice attitude too. Really nice.

I died for the first half of the afternoon. My stomach was bloated from eating a Mcflurry. Its nice but I should have had it earlier. And its damm ex too. Afternoons training was full of laughs and gags, and ridiculous stunts. One example. Tiong Han was reaching for the ball all the way to the left. He fell , glided about half a meter on his butt and left a trail of sweat with it. Lol.

And whats with PSPs. Its becoming so commonplace. Everytime before training there will be 2 groups of people crowding around the electronic thing: one belonging to panda and the other to nigel. I have nothing against it but I dont understand whats so nice. And whats with harvest moon. A game teaching you how to farm? Lol.

On Amercias Got Talent, I love the Zooperstars. They have absolutely no talent to me, but they are just so damm funny. Its wickedly stupid.

Can a PSP get me a life? I dont think so.

Get Lost la

2008-11-28T08:06:00.000-08:00

So far I havent heard a single negative comment about OIP. Everyones been so high about it which undeniably makes me envious. Well I onli have myself to blame. But still Im sincerely glad for everyone who went and enjoyed it. Almost everyone.

Its really vexing. Wednesdays training felt so good and todays was disasteriffic. Why couldnt you just stay there and dont come back? You come back, you have no respect for me at all and you beat the shit out of me. Just basic respect, since Im not all big and mighty, yet theres none. Disgusting.

Well in the evening there was no rciy but was replaced by a mass. This Father Larry something from the philippines came down and gave the liturgy. He was really very engaging. Used a lot of humour, sometimes irrelevant, but definitely got his point across. Hes flying back to the philippines tomorrow. Wish we had such a priest.

Oddly enough, just going there makes me feel somewhat better. Im really not holly molly at all, especially since I cant rewire my stiffly rational brain to believe the unbelievable. But still, its a great relief, from everything and anything. In the very least, its a healthy relief rather than excessive gaming or other... unhealthy online activites.

And I realised that I was quite a whiny bitch about the whole effort and reward thingy. Though yeah, it is still true, but there are many others like me or worse than me. Samuel puts in tremendous effort in his studies which I failed terribly to realise but he isnt getting the result hes supposed to. Kwan yi trains a lot for table tennis too and plays in his own time but he too didnt make the team. So yeah, Im not rewarded, but others are not too, even more unjustified-ly than me. So I will try my best to quite whining and just do my best, in everything.

Well hope tomorrows a better day. Everydays a new day.. Im sticking to it.

Star Wars Spam-mage

2008-11-23T06:09:00.000-08:00

I just counted. My Star Wars book count currently stands at 7. Adult size books. Cool.

Friday had training as usual. The rain stopped in time for me to try some pull ups . I dont know if mine could be counted but if it could I did one. Then ran around the campus under kwan yis insistence. Rciy was hilarious with the video. So surprising that so many of the confi camp people came back. I thought they didnt care.

Saturday and sunday were as usual. Routine stuff. Theres a slight possibility I might be confirmed next year.

I think the lack of any form of exercise during the mugging period has made me weak, weaker if thats any better. My bat feels so heavy. Train, train, train. A few more months and I can unofficially quit my CCA. Phew..

Analyses

2008-11-20T08:20:00.000-08:00

I Survived a Japanese Gameshow has finally come to an end. Donnell didnt win and Im so glad he didnt. Next weeks the premeire of dont forget the lyrics singapore. The rate at which we copy American shows is simply amazing.

Nothing much. One of the few days I never stepped foot outside of the house. Mainly trainings. Boo. And now, I'ill get the analyses over and done with.

#20 Haozhi
What can I say. 101% peoples magnet, boys and girls alike. Ermm aspiring tracker. Soccer enthuiast, supports man u. Poet. One thing to note, very competitive. But still presents himself as a friendly... lively person. Formally attached.

#21 Samuel
Trademark: Angelic smile. Everyone agrees. IT, robotics pro. According to him, he was once in rugby. o.O now an 02 scout. Really very helpful. Helped me a great deal in the beginning of the year when I was like what the hell am I doing in 3B, so thanks.

#22 Suphasak
Cool dude from Thailand. One of the guys whom I know better. Sporty, pro in soccer and basketball. Hardcore gamer, dota, CS. Beatboxer. Anime lover. I quote him on this "I think I can survive with just my laptop and internet." Hmmm... no negative impressions intended.

#23 Clement
National swimmer. Disproportionate upper body, really broad shoulders. Cocky confident guy. Always willing to share his opinion. All I remember is scaling that OBS height challenge thingy with him. Also, formally attached.

#24 Yong Liang
I'ill pass. All I know is that he doesnt really care about his school attendance. Truancys the game.

#25 Renjie
Grizzly bear. I would think hes the perfect all-rounder. Physically domineering, supposedly strongest in our class. Ownage debator, went to or is going to Britain for some conference thingy. Prefect. Academics also tops the class.

#26 Cheng Long
Certain signature characteristic about him. Always does "tsk (followed by name)" when he sees someone. At least to me. Bubbly, fun person. Amiable, compromising, seldom flares up. Basketballer. A great friend who was the first to volunteer to take the dialouge ob with me.

I actually forgot why I wanted to do this in the first place. I think it was a lack of subject matters to write about. But after doing this, I realise who I do know better and who I merely know at surface value. Not that I didnt know all this before, but it just goes to show how far I have come with my class this year.

Whatever. Nightts.

Starting Anew

2008-11-19T08:25:00.000-08:00

First post for new blog. Closed the previous one cause of a few reasons, among them being a realisation that there was no need for fanciful skins, the dead-ness of my tagboard and my blog itself. Evidently enough, this new one has eliminated two of the elements and hoepfully, I will try to keep it alive.. A new address, new format, new theme. And its kind of a trying to be more optimistic thing. The messages and colour and whatever. Starting anew..

To start off on a light note, a picture post. I will try to post pictures more often, if I do get any.

A horny fella known as Edene. I dont think he will mind ba? At most I'ill just die.

This is a fascinating contraption, an umbrella vending machine. Who knows, maybe they will come up with a psp vending machine.

The Grand Ballroom of Orchid Country Club. Never been to a biggy ballroom before.

The pictures are all of minute sizes cause I forgot to change the picture uploading settings. Im lazy to modify it so I will just leave it as such. And I havent forgotten my class analyses. A couple more to go and we are done. But I will save it for tomorrow.